Having kids costly for educated moms

Once again the baby cliff is in the news

CARLY WEEKS

From Wednesday’s Globe and Mail

March 25, 2009 at 6:14 AM EDT

Highly educated women face a much more severe loss of earning power when they have children compared to mothers with less education, says a report published yesterday by Statistics Canada.

The findings help shed light on the social and economic realities that are pushing more Canadian women to delay childbirth and have fewer children.

The report, which looked at the earnings of women with and without children from 1993 to 2004, also highlights the consequences of government decisions to steer away from pay equity, establish a national child-care program and improve unemployment insurance and other benefits for women, according to gender equality experts who predict the problem will only worsen in the current economic climate.

Mothers who are highly educated earn less than childless women with similar degrees of education, the report found. But the wage gap between less-educated mothers and childless women with similar amounts of education is far less evident. The only significant gap existed among those between the ages of 27 and 34.

Enlarge ImageJessica Jacobs of Calgary, a self-employed entrepreneur and owner of Little Soles, a shoe company, kept working right after she had her children. (Chris Bolin for The Globe and Mail (File))

A possible explanation is that highly educated women have careers that require specialized skills, said Xuelin Zhang, senior research analyst in Statistics Canada’s Income Statistics Division and report author.

When they leave the work force to have children, they may lose some of those skills or have difficulty catching up to those who didn’t have an extended interruption in working, Mr. Zhang said.

Women without a university education, however, are more likely to be in jobs that don’t have a high skill requirement, which means they don’t face as big a learning curve when they return to work.

But one law professor said the demands of family life mean many university-educated mothers are forced to leave high-paying, demanding careers for part-time work or jobs that pay less but offer shorter hours, more benefits and security.

“It’s a huge burden for women,” said Kathleen Lahey, a professor in the Queen’s University Faculty of Law who does work on gender analysis.

Adopting strong pay-equity legislation could help blunt the impact of the wage gap mothers experience, according to Sue Calhoun, president of the Canadian Federation of Business and Professional Women’s Clubs.

But an even bigger issue may be the fact that Canada doesn’t have a national child-care program, which means spaces are often costly and hard to find, Prof. Lahey said.

In some situations, that means women step away from their careers to stay at home or take jobs with reduced pay, while men assume the role of primary breadwinner.

It’s a reality that helps to explain why so many Canadians are having children later and reducing the number of children they have, she said.

“It’s really quite out of date to think that people are just going to have an unlimited number of children without regard to the cost,” Prof. Lahey said.

University-educated women may see the biggest drop in earning power after having children, but single mothers earn significantly less and face greater struggles to raise children as a result.

The report said that over all, women with children earned 12 per cent less per hour than childless women.

But single mothers earned about 20 per cent less than single childless women. Meanwhile, married or common-law mothers earned 10 per cent less than married women who didn’t have children.

The wage gap between mothers and childless women doesn’t seem to become significant until a woman is well into her 20s. The report found that in 2004, at age 20, the hourly gap in earnings between mothers and childless women was $8.60 and $9.50, respectively, a difference of 10 per cent.

At age 30, hourly earnings of mothers averaged $15.20 in 2004 compared to $18.10 for childless women.

The wage gap between mothers and childless women also increased depending on the number of children. Women with one child earned 9 per cent less than childless women, a gap that jumped to 12 per cent for women with two children, and 20 per cent for women with three or more children.

globeandmail.com: Having kids costly for educated moms.

The Smart Ovary Guide-By Dominique

How do ex-boyfriends play into the Baby Cliff? How much, if at all, are they to blame for the now-or-never stress we 30-something women feel to reproduce?  I know, not all ex-boyfriends are bad. Of course there have been a few “good-guys” in my life.  Men who listen to me whine, men who tell me I look good when I’m bloated and bitchy and even men who will watch the Fried Green Tomatoes extended director’s cut. I am not charging the “nice guys” with Baby Cliff crimes. Nice guys are actually the clean-up crew in the messy dating world. Instead, I am specifically targeting a sub-sect of ex-boyfriend.  A group of men I call  “Night in Shining Armor Posers” (NISAP’s for short). These are the guys that tell you on the first date they want to have kids, only to sprint for the door at the first hint that you are planning to shelve the pills and pull the goalie. These men are a mamma-wannabe’s worst nightmare. They are the used car salesmen of the dating world. They will sell you a Lamborghini with a Ford engine and a busted shift-stick. Night in Shining Armor Posers are the biggest waste of a thirty-something woman’s time. Years of prime dating potential and youthful good looks can be wasted on these types. For that reason, I have compiled a list I call The Smart Ovary Guide to NISAP Avoidance built from my own Night in Shining Amour Poser experiences. I can never-get my 20-something butt back, but you can still save yours.

The Smart Ovary Guide to NISAP Avoidance

1.    He is crazy into you at the beginning. Typical NISAP tricks include: flowers, door opening, romantic dinner making the whole deal.  Now, I am not saying to run from any guy that does these things.  I am just saying, let the little alarm bell in the back of your head sound off: warning, warning –the boy may be a player.
2.    He looks good on paper, but there are some notable holes in his resume.  NISAP’s are big on image, they know how to sell themselves… but look for the catch. If your guy takes longer to do his hair than you do, a mirror may not be the only thing you can’t share.
3.    Problems with Mom…oh this is a big one!  If your guy trash talks his mommy, run for your life because he might actually be looking for a new one – and believe me, sister, his is not the diaper that you dream of changing.
4.    A few months down the road the eyes he once only had for you have been replaced by the eyes he has on the girl behind you. No, it’s not in your imagination. Wake-up girlfriend, instead of a white picket fence your man is actually into a white stiletto heel and the 20 year-old blond that’s wearing it.
5.    He used to have time to do (insert random guy activity here) but now that you are in the picture he has no time and if he had a baby with you he may never have time to do (insert random guy activity here) again.  Guess what, he never really did much of (insert random guy activity here) in the first place.

Beware!  These are the guys that will promise the world and deliver nothing. My Grandma warned me no one will buy a cow that gives up its milk for free. She didn’t tell me that there are men out there that have been living off of free milk for decades. Watch out for the Night in Shining Armor Posers, these guys will slowly inch you to the edge of the Baby Cliff and then at the last minute, they’ll leave you hanging.

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Can I put my eggs in your basket? By Smita

I’m not that close to my neighbours but if they came to my door and asked to borrow a cup of sugar, I wouldn’t deny them. Recently though, a friend of mine asked me for something a bit more personal. For the purpose of this blog I’ll call my friend “Suzy.”

After years of trying to get pregnant, Suzy and her husband have realized they’re reproductively challenged. Having a baby means the world to them so Suzy asked if I would consider donating one of my eggs. To my surprise my gut reaction was to say “yes.” I was smart enough not to say it out loud. Instead, I asked if I could have some time to think about it.

Initially this seemed like a simple request. I didn’t realize it would ignite a myriad of questions popping into my head. How will I react if I meet Suzy’s kid? Can I separate myself emotionally as if I gave Suzy a couch? Is it okay to compare my egg to a couch? What if I donate an egg and I find myself needing one in the future? Should I freeze some of my eggs at the same time? What if I don’t use them in the end? I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought for sure I didn’t want to have a baby of my own, but I’m back to worrying that I may change my mind after it’s too late.

As with any important decision, I needed to consult my girlfriends. One of my closest friends was surprised I was even considering it. Another girlfriend said she had considered donating her eggs since she already has three kids but her husband was not at all comfortable with the decision.

I sprung the idea on my husband.  His main concern was my health. Would I need surgery? Would it be painful, etc.? I told him I didn’t know but I would look into all the details before I made up my mind. I had to ask him point blank: “Would it bother you if there was someone out there who was biologically related to me but not a part of our family? He said “No, just as long as you’re okay.” At the risk of sounding cheesy, his reaction reminded me why I married him in the first place.

Almost everyone I spoke to said going through with this would be very generous on my part. To tell the truth, I never saw it that way. For me, generous would be giving a kidney (I may need it later) but somehow donating an egg didn’t seem very altruistic. After all, I’m not using it. These eggs have just been hanging out in my body giving me grief once a month. I prefer to think of it as supplying raw materials (how would you like your eggs?). I’m a regular blood donor and I don’t expect to know what’s happening with my blood once it leaves my body (it’s like apples and oranges I know, but you get my point).

This whole request has only pushed me closer to the edge of The Baby Cliff. I just hope I don’t slip!

I have a feeling I’m going to obsess a bit more before I come to a decision. This is one post that will have to be continued.

What would you do?

While you’re having your say, give your 2 cents on our Character page. Love ‘em? Hate ‘em? Wanna see something different?

It’s Your Turn

Okay folks, it’s your chance to have a say on the characters for this series (see our Character page). Is Gloria someone you like? Does she remind you of yourself or one of your girlfriends? What do you think of Jay? Would you have a baby with this guy? What do you like? What don’t you like? Hit us with it, we can take it!

Dominique & Smita

Held Hostage – By Smita

A couple of years back I noticed I was late, not the usual couple of days but the “Oh my God, it’s been 7 weeks!” late. I knew after the first 4 weeks this may be a problem and I decided my dear, dear wonderful husband should join me as I spiralled into a panic. Technically I was looking for comfort in the way of “Don’t worry honey, it’ll be fine. We’ll be great parents. This is wonderful news!” But I know him better than that. He shares my irrational thoughts around having a baby; such as, we can barely take of ourselves, how can we take care of a baby? Will our cats be jealous? What if we raise the next Damian?

We fed of each other’s fears and in lieu of comfort and reassurance a blame game ensued. Who forgot to take her pill? Who forgot to remind their extremely busy wife to take her pill? My husband suddenly suggested seeking a more permanent method of birth control and that’s when I surprised myself by saying “Absolutely not!” Of course he was talking about himself, he knows better than to tell me what to do with my body, but still. With all my talk about wanting to remain happily childless, the thought of not having a choice scared the pants off me. With that revelation, I decided it was time to go to the drug store. We didn’t really want to take a test and face reality, we were happier lying to ourselves (hey I was stressed as it was with work and all that jazz, I may have been late for all sorts of reasons that didn’t involve a tiny little being growing inside of me).

The test held us hostage for the entire three minutes we had to wait. All of a sudden my husband started with the reassuring talk. “It might be nice to have a little buddy, someone to watch The Highlander with or to help me in the workshop.” I turned to him and said, “You know it might be a girl.” Dead silence. Was it time to release him as one of the hostages? Not a chance. If I was going to have to face the music, he was going to have to join me. The three minutes were up… the test was negative. My sigh of relief was followed by a twinge of sadness. I was starting to get used to the idea of being a mother but I snapped out of it when I heard cheering coming from my better half. He recognized the look of annoyance beginning to form on my face so he started reminding me how I didn’t want a baby in the first place etc., etc. I knew he was right but I believe our wedding vows stated I never had to admit that. At least now it was okay to have a glass of wine (or four).

Having kids and the environment

Babies as environmental hazards.  Cute bundles of green house gas.  This BBC article talks about the recent environmental movement to have less than 2 kids.  Smita  also wrote a post about this a while ago.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7884138.stm

Mothering in the news- By Dominique

The National Post and the Calgary Herald have been covering the Cliff lately

check out this week’s articles.  I can’t believe a 60 year old Calgary woman just had a baby, wow that gives me almost 30 years to get my act together!

The impotency of Canada’s fertility laws.

http://www.calgaryherald.com/Health/Waiting+have+baby/1292019/story.html

Smita’s Baby Cliff

Being female and in my mid-thirties it seems all the conversations I have with my girlfriends come back to one thing… babies. Even though I don’t personally plan to have children, the topic occupies my thoughts. What if I change my mind and it’s too late? What if I get pregnant and it kills my career (I’m an independent filmmaker and that doesn’t come with a lot of maternity leave)? When did I stop staring at broad shoulders and chiselled features and instead become hypnotized by chubby cheeks and drool?

My friends have their own Baby Cliff dilemmas. One friend just turned 39 and decided a few years ago that, yes, she actually does want a baby. Even though her husband is cooperating, her body is not. Another girlfriend feels she must procreate but she’d like to find a life partner first to help her out in that department. And of course there are the girlfriends who have children and I love them… but I miss them and our time together. 

When I met my friend, Dominique Keller, we discovered we had a lot in common. We grew up on the same street, went to the same elementary and junior high school (a year apart), we’re both filmmakers and we both love comedy because we need to laugh at our pain. We decided to turn our obsession with the baby question into a comedy short film. As we talked to more and more women, the idea evolved. Instead of creating short films based on our own Baby Cliff Dilemmas, we decided to get our audience involved as collaborators.

Dominique and I are going to post information each week and we’re hungry for your comments. We’re going to keep you involved in the filmmaking process by posting our scripts and getting creative with audience interaction. We want your questions, your feedback on the initial drafts of the scripts and we want to hear your own Baby Cliff stories!

A Womb is a Terrible Thing to Waste

I always thought my grandmother knew that I didn’t plan on having children. We never really discussed it but now I know it was because she assumed having children was a given. After all, I got married, we bought a house, so having kids would be the natural next step. “Not so” I told my Dida (Bengali for maternal grandmother). This was followed by an inquiry:

Dida: “Is your marriage okay?”

Me: “Yes, we’re very happy.”

Dida: “Are you just having trouble conceiving?”

Me: “No (I could never talk to my sweet wholesome Dida about birth control).”

Dida: “Have you seen a doctor?”

Me: “I’m sure everything’s okay in that department but neither of us wants kids, we discussed it before we got married.”

Dida (shaking her head): “Oh… what a shame, what a waste.”

At first I laughed the comment off as “my womb is a terrible thing to waste,” but then the guilt started to sink in. My grandmother helped raise me, she never said harsh things or put pressure on me. I have only good things to say. So when the woman you admire most and love so much seems disappointed in a decision you’ve made… boom! You start thinking about it more seriously. It borders on obsession as I let my mind argue with itself:

I’ll screw up and they’ll end up in therapy – no, don’t worry, you won’t turn into your mother…

I’ll be in the poor house – or they might support you one day…

I can’t cut it as a housewife – there are women out there who manage to hold onto their careers you know…

I don’t want to go through the pain of labour – it will give you great guilt ammunition (oh there you go, you’re turning into your mom already)

I love kids but I still don’t have that burning desire to procreate. I’m waiting to figure out which argument will win… too bad there’s a time limit.

Smita

Geriatric Baby Momma

Egg watching

The other day, my friend and I were discussing the pros and cons of checking our 30 something ovules into the egg hotel.  In other words, we were talking about freezing our eggs.  At first we were joking—tossing around the benefits of getting our arthritis and the health of the fetus checked at the same time. We reasoned that when you’re old you spend a lot more hours in the doctor’s office anyway so why not combine the high medical costs of motherhood and old age together? Doctors would be happy to double bill and we could enjoy another ten to fifteen “kid-free” years.

The conversation turned serious however, when we both admitted that we had actually researched the option. Like a true professional, my friend already has a file folder labeled Egg Freezing Facts.  Always a better student than me, she had already called some clinics, scoured the internet and even done hard time in the library.   I was shocked to find out that my friend is actually a closet “ babies on ice” expert.  So why didn’t she tell me?  Why was she keeping her reproductive know-how a secret?  How many more of us are out there and why hasn’t anyone started a club?

Is this how the first generation of birth control popping women felt?  Are we freaks or pioneers? I know one thing to be true: We are going reproductive places our mother’s have never gone before.

I also wonder why they are not marketing this thing to us? I don’t understand why a medical community that has no qualms about selling us Botox (a procedure that injects toxins under your skin to paralyze the muscles) has yet to capitalize on the egg refrigerator?  I question why doctors that are ready to slap silicone bags on top of my ribs are not also keen to harvest my eggs?

I think there just hasn’t been much creative energy put into the idea. People would accept the egg harvest as a normal part of life much like they now embrace tampons and Midol if someone could give it Brand.  Come on Corporate America, harvest some celebrity eggs, get the ads up in Vogue and make the procedure a little more mainstream.  Once Angelina Jolie has holed up in some of her babies in the freezer she will also free the rest of us to demand our own piece of the egg harvest action.  Although we have a long way to go before egg-freezing can became as pedestrian as dental veneers, there is already one egg hotel in Ontario.  For only about $5000 up front and $400 per year you can check your eggs into liquid nitrogen and push the pause button on parenthood indefinitely.  What a grand option.  Think how many more films I could make.  Then when I’m ready to reproduce all I would need to do is spring my eggs out the hotel, thaw them out, throw on a little fertilizer and voila, geriatric baby momma here I come!

Dominique

http://whatscookingamerica.net/Eggs/FreezingEgg.htm

The Male Baby Cliff

When Dominique and I first started telling people about The Baby Cliff Project we didn’t expect that men would come up to us and ask “What about our Baby Cliff?” I was so wrapped up in my female counterparts and our impending deadline, career concerns, etc., that I didn’t consider the guys were giving this issue a serious amount of thought and had their own deadlines to worry about.

 

One male friend I spoke to didn’t have any career concerns that got in the way of fatherhood. He wanted a traditional family, which included a partner who preferred being a stay at home mom. His Baby Cliff had to do with his age, but he wasn’t referring to his biological clock. He always knew he wanted to be a father and assumed he would be by his early twenties. He enjoyed his freedom (as he put it) and put off fatherhood for a full decade. Knowing he wanted to be young and energetic enough to play with his future children, the days of casual dating came to an end. If the woman he was dating didn’t want to have kids, it was a definite deal breaker. His search ended a few years ago when he found a partner who shared his traditional values. They’re one of my favourite couples and I was thrilled to find out they’re expecting their second child.

 

Another male friend I spoke to surprised me when he said having a baby was more important to him than finding a wife. He feels he has a lot of love to give and has no qualms or fears about being a single dad. He plans to adopt a child within the next five years, with or without a partner. Apparently he’s not alone. According to the New York Times “Surrogacy agencies, surveys on adoption and father support groups all say that they are seeing more single fathers by choice. Most of these men are gay, agencies say, but there are also straight men seeking to become fathers.” http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/07/fashion/07single.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2

My friend hadn’t considered surrogacy until I mentioned this article and plans to investigate further.

 

The same friend was astonished to hear that men also have a biological clock ticking away (see: http://www.psychologytoday.com/rss/pto-20070830-000004.html). To be honest, this was news to me too. I always thought men could have children well into their nineties but apparently men, over the age of 35, also have to face the consequences of decreased fertility and an increased chance of miscarriages and abnormities in their offspring. If my friend wants to have a biological child, he may have to reconsider waiting five years for Ms. Right before jumping off his own Baby Cliff.

 

Smita

Howling at the moon

This weekend I attempted to break out of my workaholic lifestyle, get out and enjoy some time and exercise with a few girls.  The plan was to have some snacks and drinks at a girlfriend’s house in Banff and then to go out around 8pm for a “moon-light” cross-country ski (we do strange things like this in Canada). Happy to be hanging with a bunch of fellow Baby Cliff dwellers (all our friends with kids couldn’t make it), I brought up the topic of this blog and I also brought up my own Baby Cliff issues.

Although a beautiful full-moon lit the mountains and the night air was warm and inviting, our skis lay forgotten by the door.  Instead our little group was consumed by The Baby Cliff dilemma.   We emptied the wine and stabbed unsuspecting nacho chips into a bowl of salsa as we talked about the stress we felt to reproduce and the pressure society puts on women to have babies. We shared horror stories of women that had babies to please their men only to have those same men cheat on them shortly afterward. The evening went on, clouds rolled over the moon, the air got chillier and we got madder.   Finally, once the wine was empty, our bellies bloated and our rage turned up high, we raised our fists in the air cursing mother nature for giving men non-lactating breasts, damning the expiry date on our eggs and condemning society for judging the women who would rather ski than give birth.  God I love a good girls night out!

For the record, sometime around midnight we did get out for that ski and it was beautiful.   I had a hard time enjoying the trip though because  I couldn’t stop thinking about the blog and you cliff dwellers.  Many of the moms have contributed to this blog and it’s great to hear that there are rewards for jumping. But what about you non-reproducers out there? We want to hear from you  too! Talk to us baby, we know you’re out there.

No Fail New Year’s Weight Loss Method

Ahh January, a time to get over the glory days of December and resolve to be a better human being. Almost half of all North Americans pick losing weight as their New Year’s Resolution.

I have the perfect plan for dropping 10 -14 pounds for next year. This one’s for the ladies and it involves no calorie restrictions! Too good to be true? Here’s the plan:

January: Finish up all of December’s leftovers, alcohol and cigarettes.

February: Indulge in vast amounts of Valentine chocolate and buy some sexy lingerie.

March: Have as many girls’ nights out as possible for the next month to get them out of your system (remember red wine prolongs your life, think of it as health food).

April: You’re now ready for the activity part of the plan. I know, I know but exercise is an important part of any weight loss plan. Here it is: have lots of sex (yes, boys, you’re welcome). Get knocked-up
April 30, 9:00 am: Buy a pregnancy test
April 30, 9:03 am: Fall off the Baby Cliff

May – Dec. 31st, Eat for two, you deserve it, all that sex was hard work.

January 1, 2010: Give birth. Now you should be down at least 10 pounds as promised. The maintenance plan involves breastfeeding, followed by calories burned through running after your toddler. See, it’s just that easy!

Blame it on your mother-By Dominique

“You know things were different back then….women didn’t have any choices”

The Auntie Alternative

Yes you guessed it, it’s the sound of my grandmother and it’s actually also the sound of my mother.  The way my mother tells the story it seems that she was walking down the road one day, she tripped over a rock and oops  she found herself pregnant.  I wonder if someone out there could explain why women of the last generation just “opps”, found themselves pregnant?  Where was the birth-control?  I thought free choice happened in the 60′s.  My oldest brother was born in ’64 or something so they tell me, how did she just “end up a mother”?  Why do women of my mother’s generation insist they just  “found themselves pregnant?” I know, I know I have just motivated my mother and her raging friends to hit the respond button.

The reason I am writing about my mother (who is a very nice woman by the way) is because one of the comments on the blog suggested that we talk about why women like us have such a hard time deciding whether or not to have children.  Here it goes—I blame my mother.  Yup you’ve got it, that sweet woman who wore second hand clothes for 20 years just to put food on my table—I blame her.  When in doubt blame your mother.  Isn’t that why we have mothers in the first place?  Let me explain, like many women my own age, I grew up listening to my mother list all of the hopes and dreams she had.  I also grew up understanding that those dreams were destroyed when “opps she found herself pregnant.” My mother is an interior designer, she has a lot of talent. I often wondered what she could have done had she not raised 4 demanding kids.   My mother has often wondered what she could have done had she not spent so much time well…mothering.  Who knows what magic she could have weaved had she not wasted so much time  wiping drool off  my chin?  Maybe the woman would have become an interior design superstar.   People would be studying her in school by now.  Heck she could have had young lovers, been invited to cool parties and even owned a convertible.

Now my mother has made it clear that she doesn’t resent her choice to be a parent. She was a good parent and she is proud of that.   But my  mother also once told me that once when she got together with a bunch of her 50+ female friends she found out that many had decided motherhood was over-rated.   So there you have it—straight from the mother’s mouth: if her friends  could do a redo, they may have skipped the kids part and instead gone for the golden ring.  How can I blame them? Really what is my mother getting out of all the hard work that she put into me?  Mostly I call when I need something, I still cost money and I am as self-righteous as I was as a teenager.

In short, her stories have kept my legs crossed for years.

It’s Not Easy Being Green

My Babies

I have a fraternal twin who I’m extremely close to.  In fact we’re practically conjoined via a telephone cord.  I always thought if I ever have kids, I would want to have twins.  Even when I first decided to get a kitten, I couldn’t get just one (that’s them in the photo).  I was told since I’m out of the house often, a single cat would get too lonely.  Even without this advice I would want my kitty to have a built-in-best-friend which is how I see my twin.

I read the chances of a fraternal twin conceiving twins is 1 in 17 but after the age of 50, it’s 1 in 9.  But technology is on my side.  These days multiple births are common place thanks to in vitro and fertility drugs.  Twins, triplets, puhleease that’s nothing compared to the litter of babies many women are having today.  By now most of you have heard of the California woman who has given birth to 8 babies all at once!  Apparently she plans to breastfeed the octuplets.  At first I didn’t know how this was physically possible but then I read she was getting the breast milk donated.  Hmmm, I wonder if you can write the donation off on your taxes?

When I first heard this story,  I thought this was an accident caused by excess fertility drugs (à la Manjula on the Simpsons) but apparently the woman (who already had six kids at home before) had leftover frozen embryos and decided to have all of them implanted at once.  She is now the mother of 14 children in total (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/04/us/04octuplets.html)!  Of course this raised concerns about the medical ethics.  Does a woman’s right to choose include the right to choose having 8 kids at once at the risk of her health and the health of her babies? Who’s to say?

Well, Britain’s Sustainable Development Commission chairman Jonathon Porritt has a very controversial opinion on the subject. He advocates government spending on family planning, abortion and contraception programs to curb the population.  Porritt states having more than 2 children per family is irresponsible considering the environmental footprint of each child (http://www.opposingviews.com/articles/news-uk-politician-says-your-breeding-is-bad-for-the-environment).

I’m still not planning on procreating and I had my kittens spayed but who knew I was saving the world in the process?  I guess it is easy being green.

~Smita~

Mothers in the Directing Chair– By Dominique

I just participated in Women in the Director’s Chair, a residency run by Creative Women Workshops Association, ACTRA and The Banff Centre.  Basically 7 mid-career women Directors from across Canada and one Director from New Zealand were selected to participate in an intensive directing workshop at The Banff Centre.   Think Project Runway only for women Directors.  It all started when we each arrived in Banff armed with an original scene and an idea of how we would shoot it.   Then a team of story mentors challenged us to rework those scenes while thinking about what makes an interesting character, a good plot and and ultimately an exciting story. Once the scenes were up to snuff then it was time to shoot, shoot, shoot.     It was intense, fun and exhausting.  I had so much information in my brain that when I went to bed at night I couldn’t fall asleep until around 2 am.

Kari Skogland was our mentor Director.  Check out her IMDB .  Kari has the dubious honour of being the first female to direct a beer commercial.  The woman knows how to shoot action, torture and violence, how can you not love a girl like that?  Her style is rock and roll, fast cameras, quick cuts and a cowboy attitude towards more traditional film rules.  I was impressed with Kari’s confidence, risky shots and exciting films.  But I was most impressed with her ability to do all of this while raising her two daughters.  What?  A big time film director at the top of her game playing mom? Is that possible?

YES! and Kari said it’s even desirable.  Maybe she is lying, but I really want to believe her.   So how does she do it?  Here’s the goods, everywhere Kari goes her little girls follow.  When Kari was filming 50 Dead Men Walking the entire family relocated to Belfast.  The girls have lived all over the world.  I got a chance to meet Kari’s daughters when they came down for part of the workshop and I am keen to report they seem happy and well adjusted. So maybe she’s not lying to me and it is possible!   I feel like my world has been turned upside down.  Now Kari has had enough success  and a supportive hubby that things have been made a bit easier.    Safe to say this is not a typical mothering set-up.  But still, if Kari can do it maybe we can too.

So how does this impact me?  How can I navigate the new mothering game?  And since Kari has already claimed the beer commercial honours what type of show can I be the first woman to direct? I wonder if the “first woman to direct monster truck show” is still up for grabs?